Comedian Karen Mills knows a thing or two about challenges. But her grit has served her well. At 5-2″, she played basketball at UT-Chattanooga, leading the nation in assists (“the tall people need somebody to pass the ball to ’em”) and becoming the first UTC Athlete (male or female, in any sport) to receive the designation of first team All-American. She’s performed comedy for over 25 years, and you can catch her daily on the Sirius/XM Comedy channels. Karen faced her ovarian cancer diagnosis in 2013 with formidable determination and humor throughout the process. She performs at theaters, trade organizations/conferences, and clubs as both a comedian and motivational speaker. I was fortunate enough to see her perform in Hilton Head, SC, where she sat down with me to share more of her story. She has an upcoming show at Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville, June 20.
Do you think your background as an athlete helped you in comedy? I figure you were used to having to calm your nerves while being in front of a crowd? As far as being in front of a crowd, by the time I was in third grade I was doing lip-synch competitions to songs like Harper Valley PTA, so that always came very naturally and easily to me. And so did sports — my dad was an amazing athlete and I was genetically blessed with great hand/eye coordination. How sports prepared me for comedy is that I was told many times I was too small to play, so I had to prove myself over and over again. Rejection became my comfort zone. So if the audience didn’t laugh or I bombed one night, it didn’t get me down to a point where I wanted to quit.
I’d just keep coming back and find a way to improve.
What was one of your earliest big breaks? The manager of the Punchline in Atlanta told me, “you can do this and make a living but you have to learn to write your own material.” He suggested I take a comedy writing class, which I did. The graduation ceremony was back at the Punchline, and it was packed with people who wanted you to succeed like friends and family. I got up and killed, and it gave me the reinforcement that I really could do this for a living. It certainly was a game changer. The Punchline immediately hired me to open then. That was 25 years ago. They had three clubs in Atlanta, and they had such a great reputation that lots of other clubs would book me after that.
And what were your early days in comedy like? Before I’d started doing comedy, I was working at a mortgage firm. My best friend’s husband was my boss. Soon after I started doing comedy, he had a heart attack and passed away. My friend offered for me to move into her basement apartment. That would free me up financially to pursue my comedy career and I could also help her with her son.
A bunch of us would get together and have writing sessions before we’d head over to the Punchline open mike and try out new material. My friend’s son, who was around 12 at the time, would throw out lines people would end up using. He’s now a New York comic, Andy Sandford. He’s a great writer and so smart. So proud of him! He has appeared on Conan O’Brien and on May 9th, he’ll be on the Late Show with James Corden. He also does a voice on Adult Swim.
It was a wonderful, creative process. Even if someone said something and you didn’t use that line, it might spark an idea for something else.
When you first started in comedy, were your parents and family supportive? Yes and no. My parents’ generation is not one that goes off and does things like this. There was some disappointment that I didn’t pursue basketball coaching because that was their form of entertainment. I was a graduate assistant coach, but I just didn’t love it. I loved playing. The best players aren’t necessarily the best coaches. I’m not as good a teacher. I’m like, just give me the ball and I’ll do it. My high school coach is in the Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame; the winningest coach on any level. In 1975 and 1976 we were back to back state AND national champions. But there was never any time for anything else. I didn’t get to try drama because of basketball. There was always a part of me that wanted to do theater and stuff.
So had you considered doing more straight acting than stand-up comedy? I had taken acting classes and I hated the audition process because you can walk in and before you even open your mouth: you’re too blonde, too short, too this or that. You’re not the right type. It was always constant rejection. Sometimes it didn’t have anything to do with talent, it had to do with stuff you couldn’t control.
What I love about comedy is it feels like your fate is in your hands. If you’re successful, you’re asked back.
Have you always been a “clean” comedian? Do you think one should have to distinguish himself/herself that way? After all, funny is funny, right? It’s a double-edged sword. There are so many people who don’t want to hear certain language etc, and if it’s not distinguished then they’re afraid to come. People constantly thank me for not using foul language. But there’s a whole other population that thinks if it’s clean, it’s hokey. Dry Bar Comedy is clean and it’s going gangbusters and getting millions of views. I think people are starved for humor that’s not offensive. Particularly in this climate, people don’t want to feel uncomfortable. I think a lot of people think you’re a prude if you like cleaner comedy. But really if it’s smart and it’s good it has nothing to do with that.
There’s a comedy club in Chattanooga where sometimes I’ll drop in and try new materiaI. I was in the back of the room and a comedian comes off stage and says, “Oh, I didn’t realize you were here, I feel terrible that I was so blue and you were in the room.” I said, “Why? I don’t care what you say.” You have to understand, yes I’m a clean comic but it’s a career move. It’s not because I’m offended. You can work a comedy club. I can work a corporate event, a conference, a comedy club, a cruise, a theater…
I can work anywhere.
Was that a choice you made early on? Yes, my mother would have beaten me. So I guess it wasn’t really a choice! A lot of people I’ll see go on a late night spot and they’ve got to do a seven minute set that’s clean. They’ll try to pull out the curse words and it’s not the same joke anymore now. You’ve got to write material that will stand on its own. Usually what I think is it’s an inexperienced comic who’s getting nervous about laughs and feels that’s an easy way to get through it (by inserting curse words) but if you really put in the time to develop the joke I don’t think you need much of that. There are jokes that there’s a certain word that’s just funnier if you say it, and if you’re not gonna say it then don’t do the joke.
Why do people think that just because they shock you, it’s funny? I don’t know but if you find that out, let me know. Some of the biggest comics out there are clean: Seinfeld, Ellen, Jim Gaffigan, Brian Regan. it’s weird that it would have a certain connotation to some people that it’s not as funny when so many of the biggest and greatest are clean.
What are some of the changes you’ve seen in the industry since you started? Social media has changed the game. When I first started there were so many more clubs. People wanted to go out see live comedy. Now you can pull it up on YouTube and Netflix. Somebody can do a funny video and suddenly they’re in comedy clubs and they can draw an audience because they have this video, but they can’t do 15 minutes of standup.
What’s your experience being a female comedian? Is there any difference than being a male? The whole female thing is kind of good news/ bad news. A lot of times you’ll get work because they haven’t had a female comic in a long time so they’ll toss you a bone. I have never felt like being a female comic is a detriment to me but some do. I always say it’s every man’s dream to have two women in one night except a comedy club owner. Because if you get one woman on the show, that’s pretty much it unless it’s a female tour or something like that.
Do you still play some basketball? I played old lady basketball — the Senior Olympics, which is 50 and older. I like to say I was a freshman in the senior olympics. But man, we weren’t a minute in and I had a black eye! It was ridiculous! I thought we were just going to scoot around a little and get some action. I wasn’t as competitive as they were. But I took a charge that knocked me on my butt. Right after that I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. If those tumors had ruptured, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.
How did you deal with your ovarian cancer diagnosis? My motto is, if you hit a wall, climb it. I am just not of the mentality to feel beaten. When the doctor said he was 98% sure it was cancer, I said, “okay, what do we do? How do we get on the other side of this?”
I wanted to draft the game plan to beat this cancer, because I’ve got things to do…
What makes you that way? From my parents, and from sports. Always believing I just have never let anyone else decide my fate. I’m about ME deciding. You’re not going to decide I’m too small. And you’re not gonna decide if I’m funny enough. You’re not going to decide if this cancer’s going to get me.
How has having cancer affected your comedy? I do so much speaking now and so much comedy with a message. I look for humor in everything.I started telling my cancer story with humor so then people started asking me to speak, and it’s kind of snowballed. Now I’ve done 7 commencement addresses (in those I talk about sports and comedy and cancer). My fellow comedians joke around and accuse me of doing the whole cancer thing as a career move.
This whole thing has been very humbling because when I first started in comedy, getting laughs was more about ego. If someone laughed at my joke, then that said “I’m a good comedian.” But after doing these events, I had different experiences. I was talking to survivors, having people come up to me afterwards and saying “Thank you so much, that’s the first time I’ve laughed since my diagnosis.” Having daughters come up and say “I haven’t seen my mom smile in so long.” And it sounds cliche’ but it really has been life-changing for me.
That’s when I realized that using your gift to help others is really when you find your purpose.
Does that keep you going? Give you the impetus to work as hard and keep on truckin’? I was booking flights last night for upcoming stuff I have. And I have like a 15 day period where I have 2 days off. I tour with a couple other ladies, Country Cool Comedy Tour and we are doing a couple theaters during that period and the rest is speaking. The travel is worth it because I love what I do.
Suddenly, my comedy has become less about what I am getting and more about what I am giving.
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Comedian Karen Mills had me in stitches at her performance. But what surprised me was how lovely and authentic she was during our one-on-one conversation. Her perseverance is inspiring to me. Even more inspirational is her attitude of finding meaning in sharing her gifts.
Go see Comedian Karen Mills perform at Zanies in Nashville June 20. Click here to purchase tickets. Also, check out her other tour dates for stand-up and speaking engagements on her website, karenmills.com.