Since this season is one of gift-giving, I am reposting this piece on Jolabokaflod in case you’re interested in starting this reading tradition with your family or friends. I hope you do!
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My husband likes to tear out newspaper articles for the rest of the family to read. Sometimes he forwards email newsletters on relevant or inspirational topics. But when he came to us a couple weeks before Christmas with a new tradition he thought we should start, we didn’t exactly jump up and down. “Joloboka-what?” my older son asked. My husband then played us a recording of someone (kind of muppet-voiced) pronouncing the word “Jolabokaflod.” Which he liked to play over and over just to annoy the rest of us.
Once we understood more about it, we said “sure.” We can Jolabokaflod this Christmas. It’s an Icelandic tradition of trading reading material with loved ones. We wanted to make it easy, so we said the reading material could be a from various sources. A book you own and think the other person would like. A magazine article, or something you downloaded from the internet.
Maybe something you bought. We decided to get my mom’s side of the family involved. We would do the Jolabokaflod reading gift exchange at her house when we went over there on Christmas Eve. To get my mom and sister on board, I had to explain it a few times, but they consented.
We drew names out of a bowl and emailed each person the list with their exchange person’s name. Mine was easy; I drew my husband so I got him a big book on jazz and a mindfulness meditation guide. Deep down I was worried my husband was too hopeful about the whole thing. I worried his bubble would burst at my mom’s house. Not that they didn’t have good intentions, but I figured it would be an easy thing for people to forget among all the other chaos at Christmas.
But to my surprise, everyone not only came through, they did so with thoughtfulness and enthusiasm. The Jokabokaflod exchange was my favorite part of Christmas this year. We sat around the dining table and took turns explaining who our person was, and why we chose what we did for him/her.
One person gave his old copy of Jack London’s Call of the Wild to a dog-lover in the group. Another printed out a favorite H.G. Wells short story to share. Someone gave a newspaper article about the recipient’s family member. My gift was from my sister, and when I unwrapped the package, it was like saying hello to an old friend.
It was a worn-out copy of Ann Tyler’s Breathing Lessons, which I hadn’t read in over 20 years. “Remember that book? How we used to love those?” my sister said. Just holding it instantly brought me back to that era of my life, and my eyes glistened with tears. Living at home with my mom and sister, how the three of us loved reading Ann Tyler novels! All these images of who we were back then — three single women with arguably too big of hair perms — came flooding back. Here was one of the most special gifts I’ve ever
But the gift kept giving. When I finally got around to re-reading it a few weeks later, it was like I’d never read it before. Because while I must have liked Ann Tyler’s comedic style, and her rich, quirky flawed characters, her making stories out of mundane moments, I now was the age of the protagonists. Now it was — quite literally — a different story for me. I could relate all too well to Maggie’s frustrations and disappointments. Her doggedly naive optimism and hope for the future made me cry. I understood her second-guessing certain elements of her life. Eventually, she appreciates the choices she made including the people she’s chosen.
Jolabokaflod showed us that more than picking out a new sweater or bluetooth speaker (don’t get me wrong, we did exchange presents), taking some time to think and share with each other was a valuable blessing. Saying, “I know who you are” and offering a book that shows it. Or maybe it’s just “I like this… wanted you to have it in case you might like it, too” is an equally precious sentiment. Ultimately, it’s about sharing love.
How to Rock your own Jolabokaflod
Rules:
You can set your own guidelines (we did), such as all reading material must be purchased from your local bookstore (we certainly want to support those). Or you might make it more open-ended, like we did for this first go-round.
Always a lame duck:
We had one person forget about it. There is always going to be one. Don’t sweat it — he/she will see how much fun everyone is having and will make sure to get it together next year.
Timetable:
I think we should draw names at Thanksgiving so people have a little more time to prepare.
Have fun with it:
You can play the Santana song “Oye Como Va” and say the word “Jolabokaflod” and tell people that’s the official theme song of the holiday. It synchs up perfectly.
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To read my last post on gratitude, click here: Being Grateful — 3 Reminders on How to Keep It Up
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