You are at a charity gala with your husband. You are in a ballgown and he’s wearing tails. It’s the end of a lovely spring evening, and the two of you decide it’s time to head home. You wait for the car at the valet stand when some other couples (who are unmarried friends and acquaintances of yours) ask you for a ride. You and your husband say yes, of course. Then the car pulls up and one of the other women screams “SHOTGUN!”, proceeding to let herself into the front seat of the car. You stand there bewildered while your husband motions for you to just hop into the back seat. Steamed, you shove your ball-gown-wearing self into the back and the lively bunch scoots over to make room for you.
The above account is a true story, and it’s legendary in our household. It took place many years ago when we were newly married and before we had children. But the reason the story has staying power, and that my boys have to hear about it to this day, is my husband’s response. He pushes another nerve with his cavalier retort: “Sorry —it’s not me — it’s the international laws of shotgun.” We then get into a heated debate as to whether or not there exist such things as the international laws of shotgun, and I get mad about it all over again. How many of you subscribe to the international laws of shotgun? And are they truly “international,” or are they merely a stateside phenomenon?
Who made these laws?
Friends, there may very well be international laws of shotgun. But my stance is that certain points override such laws. Point number one in my favor: WIFE vs. NOT-WIFE. Maybe I am out of line, but I think there must be fine print on marriage vows. It states that no one can exempt you from front seat status. But I can let that go and figure, hey, sometimes, if I don’t call shotgun, I may have to face the consequences. A wife in a ballgown, however, should get some type of extra homage.
Even if you believe in the sanctity of the shotgun laws, is there an age limit when you quit exercising them? Maybe once you graduate from college, you also let go of upholding the rules of shotgun. Perhaps we could just say over the age of 25 you no longer subscribe to shotgun laws. Is there a set, rigid age limit when these rules go by the wayside?
There are some published shotgun laws out there.
In my google search of “Rules of Calling Shotgun,” I ran across this list. Check out “Special Cases: C.” It states that if the driver’s spouse or partner is accompanying the group, he or she is automatically given shotgun status. Maybe this debate could be solved in shotgun court.
I hope this story serves as a public service announcement. To anyone who adheres too strongly to “the international laws of shotgun,” I still say these laws don’t exist. But even if they do, sometimes you will need to make an exception. In the name of household harmony. And if you do decide to keep the shotgun law, then at least own up to it. Don’t hide behind “the law.” Your defense shouldn’t be, “hey, it’s not me, it’s the law.”
Footnote: I asked my husband’s permission to publish this story. I told him I thought it was going to make him look bad. His response was that he will be “an international hero.” This question may start a civil war, but whose side are you on?