Here we are at that point in January where the shiny enthusiasm of a New Year’s Resolution might have faded, but the Kondo-closet-cleaning, new exercise and eating routines, or even finding new Netflix shows to binge may all still be on the to-do list. While I have cleaned out some of my bathroom drawers (does anyone else have a hard time throwing make-up away?), I’ve had another type of cleaning out on my mind: language.
Specifically, words and phrases we may use that I propose we don’t. Settle down, no one made me the language police. These are merely my opinions. You may have certain phrases that you dislike. Sometimes this disdain stems from overuse of a phrase, not that it’s innately “bad.” For example, I know someone who had a co-worker who liked to say, “things of that nature.” It’s not the phrase “things of that nature” that drove him bananas. It was the repetitive use of the phrase and how he’d insert it into almost every sentence.
Here is my proposal. It’s a short list:
1. “Honestly”
If you take notice, you’ll hear these words a lot, coming out of all kinds of mouths all throughout your day. These phrases include “to be honest with you,” or “if I’m being honest.” Which begs the question: are you not normally being honest with me? Why do you need to qualify that you are now being honest?
I know I have been guilty of saying variations of these “to be honest” phrases, and I’ll probably still lapse and say them. But I propose we all take stock of when we are using these words and why. Is it a bad habit? Does it make us feel closer to the listener? Are we trying to tell them, “hey listen, up, I’m pulling you into my inner circle here, and I’m about to get real with you.”
I typically hear this “honestly” being said in an off-hand way. It’s not as if I’ve had a deep conversation with someone, probing them for their innermost motives, and they finally come back with, “ok, if I’m being honest…” It’s more of, “did you enjoy the movie?” “Well, if I’m being honest, not really.” Why would you be dishonest about enjoying a movie? I say we can do better here. Let’s remove the “honestly” qualifiers from our speech and be confident to speak our opinions without them.
2. “If I had a gun to my head”
All other iterations apply in this vein, such as “if you put a gun to my head.” My issue here is — why insert violence into our daily casual talk? I bet if you stop and listen for this one, you’ll hear it a lot more than you think you would. It might be said in what’s construed
This preference is not anti-gun or about gun violence, either. I’d probably feel the same about it if it were any other bad thing to my head: “if you had a hot poker to my head” or “if you had a Wile-E-Coyote anvil above my head.” I guess the only thing I want to my head is a fluffy pillow.
3. At the End of the Day
Once again, I know I say this phrase, but isn’t it starting to be very over-used? If you watch any news commentary program, it will only take five minutes (or less) before you hear someone say it. Go ahead, try it; go turn on MSNBC or CNN or any news channel, listen to the interview or banter back and forth, and see how long it takes before you hear that familiar “at the end of the day.”
It’s a nice, tidy summation. I like the colloquial ring to it. “Hey, things may be chaotic, but at the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to get by.” There must have been a focus group somewhere that scored off the charts with this one, and then everyone followed suit. I’m not sure what I’d like to hear as a replacement. Got any good ones? Maybe it’s time to go back to a more formal “in summation.” Or “bottom line.”
4. “I love him/her to death”
Maybe this one’s a Southern thing, but you can count on it: when you hear this phrase spoken, someone’s about to get roasted. It’s never “I love her to death; isn’t she just the best?” Oh, no, it’s, “I love her to death, but I have to say, she can be so difficult sometimes.” What does it mean anyway, I love him to death? ‘Til death do us part? I love you until one of us dies?
Perhaps that’s true, and you do love such person in such way. But do you ever hear this statement followed by something positive? It’s usually a way to preface that although you are about to say something insulting or negative about someone, you still care about them. Let’s ditch that qualifier.
5. “Seriously”
I don’t have a strong dislike for “seriously” except for my husband’s constant use of the word. When I asked him why he feels the need to say “seriously” so much, he said living in our household means he’s in a constant state of incredulity. So I think we need to have a moratorium on “seriously” in our house. I told him he’s allowed one a day. He uses it up most days by breakfast. That could partially be because
I think our house could do with an adverb-free day once a week, taking a break from “actually” as well. And “are you kidding me?” is a “seriously” in disguise. What are your language pet peeves? Honestly, it’s all these kinds of phrases and things of that nature that make me want to bury my head in my fluffy pillow. At the end of the day, they’re just words. But can’t we do better? Seriously.
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